Holy Northanger Abbey!

So how many of you were forced to read "Pride and Prejudice" in your early school years? Now don't get me wrong, I am pretty nerdy for books of all kinds (as depicted in every one of my portraits..) but that book was awfuly uninteresting to me... even as a female (I couldn't imagine reading that book as a middle school boy) who gets off breaking apart themes, analyzing ideologies, and the art of complex syntax (I know. I need an easier button, eh?) So what would have to happen to make this novel interesting enough to read without a gun to your head? Apparently, adding a zombie/monster twist.

The New York Times documented that Quirk Books recently announced the publication of “Pride and Prejudice and Zombies,” an edition of Austen’s classic juiced up with “all-new scenes of bone-crunching zombie mayhem” by a Los Angeles television writer named Seth Grahame-Smith. The book starts off, “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a zombie in possession of brains must be in want of more brains.”

Love it.

Then, as if that wasn't astonishing enough, last week it was announced that Elton John's Rocket Pictures is in the midst of a project titled "Pride and Predator", in which the alien from the 1987 "Predator" plays a lead role in the Bennet family. (Would be so much cooler if they brought Arnold into the mix... "AAaAaAHhHhHhH! GeT tO dA' ChooOoPa'!")

Next year, Ballantine Books will publish Michael Thomas Ford’s novel “Jane Bites Back,” in which Austen turns into a vampire, fakes her own death and lives quietly as a bookstore owner before finally driving a stake through the heart of everyone who has been making money off her for the last two centuries.

So, I'm thinking that I am going to invest in this fad of convoluting the super natural with the classics. Here is my list up to date:

"The Alien-Apes of Wrath"

"The Undead Soldier"

"The Lord of the Fiends"

"A Beast In the River"

"A Portrait of the Artist as an Alien"

"The Call of the Warewolf"

"The Age of Invaders"

"Apparition Animal Farm"

And lastly, "Wise Blood: A Vampire's Guide to Creative Cooking"